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I’m Scared
With the world being what it is today, pandemic and all, I’ve decided to focus my attention on where I can add more love to my life. Also, to be mindful of where Fear is still manipulating me in my everyday living.
So, I asked myself, what am I scared of that I can start to work on right now and where can I express more love with it than I have in the past?
SPIDERS!!!
Spiders deserve a little loving too. I can’t remember what age I was when this fear really took hold. As a little girl I always enjoyed observing all of life including the insects with pure joy and fascination. At some point they became terrifying for me.
Serendipity
I was thrift shopping with a friend the other day and came across this book titled “Spiders in Space, successfully adapting to unwanted change” by Todd Hirsch & Rob Roach.
I felt this was a rather serendipitous find having recently decided to start allowing spiders to live with me. Not to mention having all of the “feels” that are rising with the unwanted changes taking place in our society today regarding the pandemic.
Say what?
I learned one of the two female cross spiders(Araneus diadematus) that went into orbit in 1973 was named Anita, which is my first name. So I thought that was cool! This made the purchase of my book feel even more serendipitous (one of my favourite words, so yes, I’m using it twice😝). Ironically, it looks like they published a book for COVID times as well Spiders in COVID Space: Adapting during and after the pandemic.
8 Legged roommates
I’ve been practicing looking the other way and allowing the spiders to carry on with their own business inside my home (after asking them not to jump out at me which was a fair deal I thought, so far no jumping lol). I have also been practicing picking them up and taking them outside when I find them. In between squealing and hyperventilating of course, not going to lie still feels super scary and sometimes I think I’m going to pass out.
What does it mean?
Curiosity prodded me to Google search so I could see what spiders represented in different cultures. Spiders are estimated to be around 3 billion years old so they know a little bit about adapting to change I’d say.
“Spider meaning and symbolism include artistry, manifestation, patience, feminine power, ancient wisdom, illusion, balance, and interconnection.”
According to this article which also goes onto explain Spider Symbols and Meanings in Mythology and The Folklore of different cultures such as:
Native American
Mesoamerica
Ancient Peru
Aboriginal Australians
Nauru
Greek and Celtic mythology
Islam
Africa
Ancient Egypt
Japan
China
There is also Spider Symbolism in the Bible, Judaism, and Christianity Hinduism and Buddhism.
Let’s get naked
I now have to take a break after looking at all of the spider pictures, I’m feeling short of breath. 🤪 My plan is to continue NOT killing them when I find them in my home which has always been my knee jerk reaction (if I can help it), and slowly exposing myself (no, I don’t mean strip teasing :-P) to more and more spiders in small doses.
Change is something that at times I relish and look forward to and other times am terrified of, especially when it feels out of my control. In any case, change is a part of this precious life of ours. Looking forward to reading “Spiders in Space”, (cool title).
Sincerely,
Spiders need a little loving too!
What scares you and how can you invite love to the table?
Gentle Invitation:
Choose a small task that feels scary or uncomfortable to you. This can be pulling the hair out of your bathtub drain (ewwww, I seriously gag anytime I’ve had to do this, props to all of the plumbers out there who have to do this frequently) or something like looking at a picture of a spider etc.
Make it a small baby step, titrate, keep it tiny movements forward and be mindful of how you are feeling throughout, noticing sensations in your body then drawing your attention or senses to things around you in your environment with a loving curiosity.
What can you hear, see, taste, smell and feel?
Have a chat with your fear, ask it what it wants to teach you or for you to know, then allow yourself to surrender into the quiet and listen gently without any expectation or judgment.
Make note of any words, sensations or thoughts that came up for you.
Mindful Movement: once you’ve done the scary thing, take some time to rebound, gently bouncing in place and then proceed to wiggle all the feelings out. Squirm, wiggle, shake, stomp, yell, scream, sing, happy dance whatever feels like moving allow it to move. Less is more here so start small and move gently.
Try wiggling it out to :
For your inner child:
For your inner gangsta (explicit language):
© Anita Elliott and S0uldanc3r, 2021. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Anita Elliott and S0uldanc3r with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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