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When someone says "trust me," I often think, "What are you up to?"
But lately, these words have been bouncing around in my mind, with me saying them to myself.
Movement for Connection
I believe that spirit needs movement to express itself and provide answers. From personal experience, I know that taking action is essential for receiving inspiration, opportunities, or guidance.
Movement, My Lotion
Movement is key, whether through cleaning, writing, pulling tarot cards, walking, or dancing. When my energy is in motion, inspiration and solutions appear unexpectedly.
Purging My Thoughts
I write to bring my inner knowing and thoughts out of the shadows. Writing helps me process and understand my thoughts and emotions, preventing them from becoming a tangled mess inside.
Trust Issues
Trust has been a lifelong struggle. Trusting others and myself, especially my intuition and decisions, has been challenging. I've relied too much on external validation.
Ratios and Realizations
My ability to trust others reflects my self-trust. Instead of seeing this as something "broken," I choose self-compassion and explore this lack of self-trust with curiosity and gratitude.
The Black Hole of Self-Doubt
The knot of self-doubt in my stomach softens as I approach it with curiosity and appreciation. This part of me was only protecting me, doing its job.
Self-Inquiry
I ask myself: Why can't I trust myself? When did I stop? I always believed in personal responsibility, but sometimes I took this too far.
Asking is the first step which seems easy enough but sitting still long enough to hear the answer is a whole other ballgame.
When I do, it’s like a flower turning to meet the sun. Its petals ever so gently open to share heart whisperings and while open it cannot help but to embrace the light.
I am thankful for this curious part of me that can still think about things like this from a place of wonder.
Bludgeoning Myself
I've often hurt myself more with my internal self-blame than the actual events that occurred. I internalized pain and used it against myself.
Space for Memories
I don't need to unpack every hurtful event, but creating space for memories without judgment is helpful. Moving through and unwinding emotions is beneficial but challenging to maintain.
Rebuilding Self-Trust
I'm mindful that there's nothing to fix, but to be compassionate about. I'm redirecting my attention towards moments of self-trust, no matter how small. I'm holding space for parts I don't trust yet.
Cultivating Gratitude
Like pebbles of gratitude rippling out and multiplying, I'm appreciating these moments. My thoughts, expectations, and emotions will shape my experiences.
Practicing Self-Compassion
Negative thoughts may persist, but I won't ignore or berate them. I'll inquire, become aware, and express gratitude. I'll plant new seeds and tend to a new garden of self-trust."
Sincerely,
Working on my trust fall
Invitation: Trust Fall Exercise
Lie comfortably on the floor, using supports as needed. Notice where your body contacts the floor and feel supported. Explore the words, 'I am safe here, I've got you, let me support you.' Notice any feelings, thoughts, or memories that arise.
Mindful Movement - Rocking for Comfort:
Gently rock back and forth, allowing your breath and movement to comfort you. You can do this by pushing your heels on the floor or slightly pushing with your toes or feet off the wall. Gently rock for a few minutes then pause and observe. Experiment with the speed and tension. Invite any emotions or memories to surface. Ask them what they want to share, and provide a space for them. Shake out any remaining tension with upbeat music."
Music to explore with:
© Anita Elliott and S0uldanc3r, 2022. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Anita Elliott and S0uldanc3r with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
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