To Be Seen or Not To Be Seen - Overcoming the Fear of Being Seen

To be seen or not to be seen.

That’s been the quiet tug-of-war of my life.

Sunset Blur

Anyone who knows me well knows I’ve never been drawn to the spotlight. I wasn’t the one who wanted the microphone or the stage. (I had an Elvis lip twitch that did not work in my favour that I went to Toastmaster’s to quell just so I could get up at our year end dance recitals and welcome everyone etc) I was more comfortable behind the curtain, back stage, quietly making sure things ran smoothly, cheering others on with all my heart. That’s always felt like a safer place for me.

Prairie wishes ...

But lately, I’ve been realizing there’s another part of me - the part that secretly wishes to step out, even just for a moment, into the light. The part of me that watches people dance with wild abandon and thinks: someday, maybe me too. Life goals, right? To be the kind of person who can move freely, without worrying who’s watching.

For now, though, I am starting with baby steps.

One step at a time

Getting in front of the camera has always felt awkward, uncomfortable, sometimes even a little silly. But I am practicing. Coaching myself the way I would gently encourage a student: It’s okay to be nervous. It’s okay to feel vulnerable.

You don’t have to get it perfect. Just take one small step.

That’s how I’ve been approaching my newest project, The Deer, Dream. Writing and sharing it has nudged me out of my cocoon a little. It’s asked me to step forward, not wait for everything to be perfect or until I taught myself how to illustrate better in Canva ... to let myself be seen, book in hand, face in the frame, story in the world.

And it feels both terrifying and tender.

I share this because maybe you’ve felt the same. Maybe you’ve been more comfortable blending in, holding the light for others instead of standing in it yourself. If so … you’re not alone.

It’s okay to not want the spotlight. It’s okay to prefer the shadows. But it’s also okay to want to stretch a little, to explore what it feels like to be seen, even if it’s just in small, imperfect, brave ways.

So here I am … practicing visibility, working on overcoming the fear of being seen. Awkwardness, silliness, seriousness, and all. And maybe, in some small way, it gives you permission to practice too.

— Practicing visibility, one tender step at a time.

Sincerely,

Peekaboo (aka the girl still taking selfies in the car)

This was meant to capture excitement… but I think it leaned a little more into ‘crazy eyes’ lol. Real life, real nerves, real me.

✨ A small somatic invitation:

Close your eyes, take a breath, and let your shoulders rise and fall. Place your feet on the ground and imagine roots reaching into the earth. Then, if you feel brave, let your hands sway gently in front of you as if they are leaves in the wind. Movement doesn’t have to be a performance — it can be a soft reminder that you are alive, here, now.

And if you’d like to set the mood, here are a few songs that have been companions for me in this tender space of becoming:

🎶 I Am — St. Finnikin

🎶 Attract — Equanimous

🎶 Open — Equanimous

🎶 Holocene — Bon Iver

🎶 Saturn — Sleeping at Last

Let them wash over you like a soundtrack for your own soft emergence.

© Anita Elliott (aka Souldancer), 2025. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Anita Elliott with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.